Today is the day my fellow singletons,
the day most of us dread.
Today is Valentine's Day. An arrival most of us singletons have ignored or anticipated with horror for weeks now.
I am as single as one can be. I have learned that navigating being single is like learning a new language. Valentine's Day can feel like learning another shitty chapter in a French textbook.
Valentine's Day has always been a 'single-ness' awareness day.
Most of the time, if one is recently single or recovering from a broken heart (which can take time)----this day can be the most painful day of the year. For me, my entire adolescent was spent with one special person. That is a whole lot of Valentine's Day celebrations. A whole lotta memories. A whole lotta chocolates, flowers and empty promises....haha whoops. But being single makes you realize how alone you may feel. It can sometimes make you reflect on the ghosts of relationships past.
But trust me, us singletons are far from alone.
I think I have finally started to realize why I hated Valentine's Day. It was because I never celebrated being ALONE. Truly alone. The type of alone where you fall asleep in your super lame pajamas, eating Pringles in bed and have no responsibilities to a single person in the world, other than your friends or family.
No goodnight text or stealing the blankets for me. So alone----that your cat is your only and go-to snuggle buddy. And that is completely and utterly OKAY.
I think a lot of us need to hear that.
It is OKAY to be alone on Valentine's Day.
Be your OWN Valentine.
In our society there is so much emphasis on finding "the one." This "one" or "soulmate" is an ideal taught to us at young ages. As young girls we are told endless stories of princesses saved by princes. As young adults, we are taught in order to be successful we need to find another person and create a family. This isn't necessarily a bad thing---I hope to eventually have my own family. But being alone can also be absolutely fantastic and a goal in itself.
There is so much more to life than constantly being in a relationship.
It has taken me a long time to realize this.
Love can be the absolute best feeling in the world.
But it can also break you down into tiny bits and pieces of yourself.
That is why I encourage all my fellow singletons to embrace today. How are you going to do that?
By following my go-to guide:
HOW TO EMBRACE VALENTINE'S DAY AS A SINGLETON
1. Treat YO SELF
That's right people.
It's time to be your OWN Valentine. How are you going to do that? Only YOU know how. For me, treating myself includes an entire box of Kraft mac & cheese to the face and binge watching Netflix for hours with my roomies. Eat what you want. Wear what you want. Do what you want. But keep in mind the key to embracing Valentine's Day is a positive mindset.
Stay away from activities that make you feel down on yourself.
If there is someone in your life that may not be worthy of treating yourself too----don't go there. If there is a food that makes you feel gross after eating---maybe eat half instead.
2. BURN the evidence
Do you happen to have any remaining artifacts from your previous relationship? Gifts from ghosts of relationships past?
My second piece of advice is to BURN it.
Throw it away.
Chuck those items out the window.
Whatever it is you need to do to rid yourself of the bad vibes towards today. As much as it may hurt to let go of those items, I guarantee you will feel 100% times better.
3. Spend TIME with people that MATTER
A very wise woman once told me that people are always auditioning to be apart of your life. The world is a stage my friends. The people that matter are the ones constantly cheering you on in the audience. The ones that celebrate you and love you for WHO YOU ARE.
My roommate and bff Adam came home from the grocery story last night with boxes of chocolate. He even bought a bottle of red wine-----he doesn't even like red wine.
We saluted to us as singletons!
Most of our roommates and friends are in committed relationships. Adam and I are some of the last singletons standing. But that is often the best way to spend Valentine's Day--with family and friends.
Valentine's Day should honestly be renamed to Galentine's Day.
4. If you are feeling down--it's time to GET CREATIVE
Creativity is not just one thing. It is so many different things. It could be writing-drawing-photography-gaming, you name it--I bet you could make it creative.
So many people I know are the first to say, "but I'm not creative!" What they are really saying is, " I don't know how to be creative!"
You. Are. Creative.
Do you remember all of those really cute years of elementary school where each of us would decorate a Valentine's Day box? The box was almost always a shoebox that we would color, put stickers on or glue construction paper to.
Those were by far the best Valentine's Days of my life.
Everyone made a box.
Everyone got at least one Valentine.
The world was simple,
and filled with love from all of your random-ass classmates.
SO, lets take ourselves back to THOSE days, the good ole days. I encourage you to embrace your creative side. This could be in any form. Try out being creative.
Push yourself. Use creativity as an escape from feeling down. And comment your creativity on this post!
5. Do some form of EXERCISE
In case you may not already know, EXERCISE is good for you. I find that when I am in a mood or lost in life the best thing to do is to get FUN, FIT and FAB.
Now, I may not always make it to the gym. But I do at least try to get some form of exercise in. On this Valentine's Day I encourage you to get up, get out and do SOMETHING ACTIVE. If shopping is your cardio, go for it homie ;)
Yoga can be an incredible form of exercise to relieve stress and tension. As a student at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, I am lucky to have access to fitness classes at our campus recreation center.
Fitness classes are a great way to feel less alone and more excited about exercising. I've attended a handful and have really enjoyed them. I have even met some friends along the way.
For my fellow Minutemen, here is a link to the fitness classes offered at our beloved gym:
6. Finally, dedicate time to SELF LOVE
The key to being happy if you are single on Valentine's Day is realizing it is just another day of the week. Celebrate you today. Celebrate your friends and family. Celebrate the things and people that make you happy.
There are so many things in life that we take for granted. Things could be SO much worse. Take the time to call someone you love.
Tonight you can find me eating the chocolates my Dad sent me, sipping on some wine and watching Netflix. I'll be sure to call and hang with my Galentines---friends and family mean everything.
And just in case you didn't already know, you are loved. Happy Valentine's Day Singleton! Embrace today and every day from here on out.